Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
did you just send me my own nude
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
