You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
