Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just had sex on a roof
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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