yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
