he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
