your thong is hanging out like whoa
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
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