True but thats because hes a fetus.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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