my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Randomize
