Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
