Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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