If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
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Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
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I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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