Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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