you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
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is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
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i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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