They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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