my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.