I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
be right there i have to get my cape
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
