Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
