You smell like stripper and shame
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize