Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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