apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize