You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
