Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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