He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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