it wasn't lemon gatorade
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
