I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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