just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
