Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
