i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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