youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Randomize
