I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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