it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
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The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
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After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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