We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
