if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
