Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
