You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
