there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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