i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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