like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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