I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
