Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
My vagina is officially offended.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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