It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
