I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize