I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize