.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
It's shark week go big or go home
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize