Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
