also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
mondays should just be called national damage control day
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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