I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
