Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose ass print is on the piano?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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