I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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