pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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