I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize