its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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