WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Did I show you my penis last night?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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