I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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