Can i not drive my cunt home
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
The feeling are messing with the penis
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
