i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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