2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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