Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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