I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
