are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Randomize
