I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
