I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
