dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Come see our sink grown plant.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Randomize
